We all know how big lies can destroy a marriage. Not being truthful about financial problems, or having affairs are two of the leading causes of divorce. However, psychologist and relationship expert, Dr. Joel Block, says telling little lies can be just as detrimental to a relationship as telling whoppers, but it takes longer for their full effect to show. o what are the “Little Lies” Dr. Block is talking about

Things like not asking direct questions if you’re concerned about something. For instance, if your spouse seems to be spending more money lately, and you aren’t sure where those funds are coming from, it’s best to just ask. Dr. Block says couples are afraid of being criticized or rejected, so they talk around an uncomfortable issue. They’ll say “Those are great golf clubs. Are they new?” Instead of. “You’ve been making big purchases lately, where’s the money coming from?”

Block says not being accusatory or beating around the bush means you’ll have a conversation and not an argument. If you’re uncomfortable bringing it up, just say so! Another little lie is withholding information, even if it seems trivial. Like if you don’t like one of your wife’s friends. Dr. Block says sharing everything is the true meaning of intimacy, so couples should try to share and receive information without getting judgmental.

When a person is constantly getting blamed for problems they have a tendency to get angry and start blaming back. Instead, acknowledge your part by using the word “I” in place of the word “You.” According to Dr. Block, “I” statements are more honest and less confrontational. Say “I get frustrated when you don’t pick up after yourself.” That way they know how you feel, but they don’t feel attacked.